Can I Get a Revolution? No? How About Some Resolutions?

So, I never write new year resolutions, mostly because I am lame, have trouble getting excited and passionate about things, and I hate to fail. It's hard to fail at something if you don't try.

How lame. Those are admissions I'm definitely not proud of, but hey it's the beauty of being brutally honest and self aware. This year however, I've got a few things on my heart that I want to work on in this new year. 2009 was not an awesome year for me personally. My last post, I was stretching to see the good in it, for sure. Ashamedly, I think that I wasted a lot of my time, a lot of God given opportunities because of my own selfishness, insecurities, and just plain laziness.

That's not okay.

So, in honor of the new year, here are a few things I'm going to try and do differently in 2010:

*I'm going to read the Bible all the way through. How Christian cliche of me... but that's one of the best things I was forced to do in seminary. The structure of my classes had me all over my Bible and by the end of my time at DTS I had read the Bible all the way through. I want to do it again... and again... and again. My homie John Piper has gotten to the point where he's read it through so many times, he associates certain parts of scripture with the seasons. Like, he knows he reads through Ephesians during the summer because of the memories he has associated with those times of study. How cool is that?!

*I have 50 more pounds to reach my goal weight (I packed on a few pounds in Sudan and over Christmas) and I want to be within 10 pounds of that goal before October 1 (tentative date for me to return to Africa).

*I want to de-clutter my life. Less is more right?! Learning to let go of things is scary, but when I look around my room, it stresses me out. Gotta fix that before I end up on that A&E show "Hoarders." That show is CRAZY! If your house is even a little bit messy, don't watch that mess, it will freak you out and you WILL lose sleep.

*I want to write more... not silly, random blogs (although I do love this blog, where I have a pretend captive audience at all times of the day or night) but Christ centered, spiritual growth type things... and creative poetry and song type things.

*I want to do a better job of loving people, especially my parents, sisters, and close friends that I often take for granted. The people I'm closest with are the ones I find myself losing my patience with or taking out my issues. Thats awful.

*I want to be more intentional with the people in my life. I don't want to be afraid to pray for my friends when they're telling me they're struggling or to bring up the Lord in conversations with them. I especially want to be more intentional with the people in my small group, and really experience what it means to "do life" with people.


I think I could probably go on and on with things that I'm hoping to change about myself this year.. there are a couple other things... but I havent really figured out an effective game plan for those things just yet. But this list, I've got a reading plan for my bible reading, an exercise plan and some friends to hold me accountable to help me on my quest to be skinny and hot (and mostly comfortable in my own skin), I've got ideas and plans for my writing and a fresh pretty notebook to make creative writing happen.... the loving people and being more intentional.... those are harder things to create an actual game plan for, but it's something that's become a huge topic in my prayer life and I'm hoping it will really begin to be carried out in my life.

The big thing is realizing that 2009 was a struggle because I tried to do everything in my own strength. I really struggled spiritually because I was depressed about a couple things that had happened and the uncertainty of where my life is going. 2010 doesn't have anything that is overwhelmingly promising, except hopefully my return to Sudan in October.. so it's not like I'm having this sudden burst of optimism. I'm really just realizing I cant continue on my own. I need to rely upon Him and trust Him with every step I take. I want to be more like Christ in all that I do... so committing to spend time in His word, taking care of myself, and loving His people are all steps that will hopefully lead in the right direction.

We'll see.........
Here's to a better year.
To God be the glory..