Bare

So, I've never been the type of person who can look at a landscape or a sunset and get swept away, or overwhelmed with it's beauty. I don't tend to see God in nature or creation like so many do. Now, don't get me wrong, I can look at something, and appreciate that it is beautiful, but things outside don't typically leave me speechless. It's actually something that makes me kind of sad. I feel like I'm missing out on something or as if my mind is too small to take in the greatness of God's creation. I have to consciously force myself to stop, look deeply at something, and have a mental conversation with myself over what exactly is so beautiful in what I'm looking at.

Today however, may have been an exception to that mindset. As I was driving to a friends house on the interstate, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of God's creation. It's weird, because it didn't come in the form of a beautiful sunset. I live in the suburbs near Northern Virginia so there arent really mountains around. No, instead it came from looking at the trees. And not just any trees... a couple weeks ago, the trees were definitely beautiful in their fall foliage... no these trees were bare, not a single leaf clung to their branches. As I was driving, looking at the trees (and don't worry I was looking at the road too) and the sunlight was hitting them just right, I was in awe of God's creation. It was beautiful.

Seeing those trees, that during the summer stand tall and thick with leaves, standing there in an almost vulnerable state got me thinking about God and who we are before Him. Some of those trees, they might be the most beautiful trees there are during the spring and summer. Some of those trees might have seen better days, even in the spring and summer when that's when they're supposed to look their best. I feel like we're all kind of like those trees. There are times in our lives when we are just looking our best. We've got it all together, or so we'd like people to think and we are doing fine. Then there are times in our lives when we've just come out of a particular difficult season, a dry season perhaps, and so we're not looking our best, we're weak and can't even pretend that we have it all together. We're weary. And of course there's the trees that arent particularly beautiful or exceptionally ugly... we're just there, living life, blending in, and getting by.

Underneath it all though... we're all the same.

As I was passing those trees, I couldnt tell which ones were the hotness during peak season. I couldn't tell which ones were really old, or which ones still had some spring in their trunk. They stood together, bare, tall, reaching toward the heavens, as the sunlight showered down on them.
God doesn't see us with our fall foliage or our spring blooms and the airs we try to put on. He see's us for who we are at the core.

I know that this is obvious stuff to most of us, but there was just something beautiful in the thought of being that completely vulnerable before the Lord. God knows how hard I try to be something I'm not. He knows how hard I try to pretend like everything is fine on the outside, when I'm really dying on the inside. I spend so much time trying to act like I have it all together, worrying about the opinions of others, it's refreshing to know that there is Someone who see's right through my act, and yet loves me still. If only I'd surrender all the "leaves" I'm desperately trying to cling to, and accept this season for what it is, I think I'll see that He truly loves me. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how many times I've learned this idea, in these moments when I'm before Him, completely broken, stripped bare, and really just have nothing left to offer, it's such a struggle to stand tall and reach out to Him for comfort and peace.... I'd rather have my leaves back thank you very much.

It's a beautiful, but vulnerably difficult and humbling thing to surrender everything and just stand before our Father... with every sin, every mistake, every scar exposed. Just like I need to remind myself to stop and take in God's creation, I'm realizing I need to remind myself that He knows me and loves me still. He delights in me and wants me to know Him more... and that despite all my failures and inadequacies, because of Christ in me, I too can stand tall and just allow Him to pour Himself over me.