Spring

So today is one of those days where you can look out the window and see a picture that perfectly expresses how you're feeling inside. Today, as I look out my bedroom window, it's cloudy and cold and every once in awhile it starts to spit a light rain. It's weird for me being back here in Virginia where the seasons are more distinct, and all of sudden there's a cold chill in the air. Whenever I'm hating on the cold, I sometimes think to myself, "I bet its not this cold in Dallas! It wasn't this cold until at least January!" I guess the grass really is always greener on the other side... because when I was in Dallas I was constantly lamenting over the fact that I wasn't in Virginia. It's a sad little circle. The weather here is definitely changing though... I feel like just a couple weeks ago it was beautiful outside. The sun was shining, birds were singing, everything was green, and a t-shirt would definitely suffice. Then slowly but surely things started to change. At first the change was welcomed, a change of pace, a respite from the disgustingly hot summer. Everyone knows that hoodie weather is the best weather there is! The change was beautiful... the leaves were changing color and suddenly the same streets you drove down day after day, looked different, a calming change of scenery. Now here we are, mid November, the leaves have fallen and the trees are almost bare. It's cold and the wind whips right through that beloved hooded sweatshirt. It's darker and kind of sad to see the trees that were once so pretty, looking lifeless and empty. It was so gradual, so subtle...

It was so subtle. It was beautiful at first. Warm. Comforting. Happy. Colorful. A change of pace.

And now its cold. dark. and kind of sad. dead. It feels hopeless.

The beauty of the past is a struggle to remember as you prepare for the winter ahead.

Sometimes in the midst of a dark season, it's hard to remember that it is just that, a season. Seasons come and seasons go. It's a cycle, it's part of life. Knowing that the seasons eventually change, doesn't make it any less cold during the winter, but it does give you hope that you can hang on because spring is coming. Life is just around the corner. Here I am at the end of fall, knowing that winter is approaching, and already hating the idea that it's probably going to get colder before it gets warmer. How much colder could it get? How much more can I take? Will I really be able to hang on until spring?

Yes, I look out my window and realize how much I can relate to the picture that I see... things are hard, things seem hopeless, things that once were beautiful and comforting have changed. It feels so dark. The change was so subtle, how did I get here.. but even still, as I stand here looking out the fall season that has overtaken my neighborhood, and if I look really hard over the bare trees and past the dark clouds, I can see small rays of yellow, the sun pushing through a clump of clouds. Even in the seeming darkness there's a little light. There's hope. There's always hope.

I just hope I can hang on till spring.