Today was such a busy day, but it ended up being so good.
Tonight was the first Wednesday that I feel like I really took some ownership in the planning aspects of things. My heart has been so burdened on Wednesday nights as I watch so many of our students just going through the motions of worship, and so a few weeks ago, as my boss and I were talking with some of our volunteers we decided to do a night focused on worship.
Wouldn't you know.. I happen to sing occasionally with a stellar group of boys who I could call in a favor.
Not gonna lie.. I was really stressed about today.
Would all the elements come together?
Would I plan the mess out of this thing and hinder the Spirit from moving?
Would the band catch the vision of the night, having never seen our students before?
Would the students even respond?
I want to do my job well.
I woke up today, still stressed.. went to Walmart to buy things for communion and the time of confession.
Got to the student center and began putting lyrics into Media Shout, even though I have no idea how that mess works.
I barely acknowledged the boys as they pulled up with the trailer because I was stressed, tired, and super busy.
It wasn't until much later, as I was washing the grapes and breaking up the bread for communion. Yeah, we used grapes. Hello- teenagers + grape juice on carpet = a bad idea! Anyway, as I was getting the stuff for communion ready, my thoughts were abruptly interrupted. The body and blood of Christ... tonight wasn't about me and worship planning skills or how pretty I'd sound with the band, or our transitions.... everything I was doing was all in vain, if it wasn't for the glory of God.
Attitude check... fo sho.
Seth even called me out on how much I was worrying. I needed that reminder that I had invited people with specific callings on their lives to be a part of this, and they were worshipping God by using those gifts. Seth- I don't need to tell him how to do his job or worry that he's not going to what he's supposed to. He's an incredibly gifted worship leader, and has a calling on his life to lead other to the Cross in worship. My boss, Pat- I don't need to worry about whether or not he's going to be able to express the purpose of the elements of tonight's worship. He's been gifted and called by the Lord to pastor students. Yes, I'm a details and organizational kind of person (although you wouldn't know it if you saw my room!), because that's how God created me to be..
as the Body, we all have a purpose.
Today, I tried to do everyone's job, and when I knew I couldn't, I let worry overcome me.
Anyway, students got there at 6. We set up the game and cafe outside, and didn't let students in the student center at all. They were intrigued.
After about 30 minutes outside.. we prayed together, and I instructed them to enter reverently, as they made their way to butcher paper on the wall. On the butcher paper they wrote what worship means to each of them. It was cool to go back and look at what they wrote.
The band intermingled their songs with different elements (scripture reading, confession, communion), and I'm hoping that the Spirit was really moving. It was the most responsive I've seen our group, and it blessed my heart to see them even slightly awakened to the presence of God moving around them. I'm praying big things for these kiddos.
And man oh man, I am one blessed Molly to have such wonderful friends who would do a favor like this for me. Those boys, I just love them so much. We did a podcast after the students left (www.rbbcrock.com, under "messages"), and one of the things I mentioned was how I love that at any given moment I can look around the stage when I'm singing with them, and see every one of them worshipping. Their hearts are in the right place, and I love the example of Christ they are for me.
Tonight was a good night, once I relinquished control and recognized the Holy Spirit could do so much more than any planning I might come up with... even if no one else felt God's presence, I know I heard from Him. I'm grateful that as I got all crazy, worship planning wild, the Lord reminded me that we're called to worship Him in all things.