Purple Chucks

"You seem so happy!"

Someone said that to me while I was home, after they asked about how things are going in Chattanooga... Good! I'm glad others can see how happy I am in this new chapter.

I had a great trip home for Thanksgiving. It was WONDERFUL to see so many people that I love so much, and to get Aunt Molly hugs and kisses from my favorite 3 year old Noah. Today as I was leaving church, he was walking in, and I yelled, "Oh my goodness Noah! I thought I wasn't going to get to say goodbye!" And the next thing I know, I've got a 3 year old flinging himself (and his woody doll) into my arms for the best send off ever! Oh goodness that kid!

Last night I went out with the lovely Ashinhurst sisters (Katy, Becky, and Jenn) and our other friend Katy, and our friend Jack to celebrate my birthday. We went up north to Uncle Julio's, which is the only place around that you can get GOOD mexican food.. and then we ate a lot of cake (ok it was mostly just Jenn and me), and laughed a lot. It was so much fun. These 5 were part of my small group before I moved, and are so special to me. I'm so glad we got to hangout before I left!

This morning, after church, I hopped in my car for the 8 hour drive that ended up taking almost 10. Oh man, so many wrecks and ridiculousness on the road today! I think I'll save up my money for a flight home next time! I can't handle that mess! I got back about 10 minutes after the boys' church service started, and so I snuck in the back, and afterward went out to dinner with the band, Alex's fiance (and my wonderful friend) Rebecca, and our friend Michael "West Coast." It was so nice to look around the table and see some of the people that I love most in this world. They are so wonderful. Becca and the band got me a cute scarf and purple chucks, which I've wanted for years! I was so excited! Then some of us went and played our favorite game and laughed a lot.

I'm definitely going to sleep tonight feeling so blessed, and thankful for all of the people in my life who love me... I'm definitely not deserving of such wonderful friends, but I sure am grateful for them!

28.. Here We Go!

Today is my 28th birthday.

Facebook, telling people it's my birthday certainly makes a girl feel loved and popular. Whenever logic reminds me that 2/3 of the people who said happy birthday don't think of me on a regular basis, I just tell it to hush. It's my day. Let me be popular just once.

I woke up, and spent 2 hours sitting at Mrs. Cosner's kitchen table catching up with her. Oh goodness, what a blessing she is in my life.

Then, because I wasn't feeling well, I took a sweet nap.

Woke up to a cell phone that had been going crazy while I was asleep.. filled with voicemails and texts from people wishing me a happy day.

Then, I spent some time with a friend catching up on what's been going on in her life, before I headed back over to the Griffitts' house where I got to spend time with my second family...

Mr and Mrs Griffitts

Ben who had Chloe and Noah with him (Becca was writing a paper at home, sadly)

Stacy and Bryan and their girls, Kirsten, Lauren, and Mac.

and then the Jakester.

I loved it.

Stacy, B and the girls got me a purple tool set!

I'm glad I'm home and have gotten to spend time with a lot of people I love.

Thanksgiving.

So, I got home to Virginia on Tuesday afternoon, and after a quick stop home to say hi to my parents, I headed out the door to see Bryan and Stacy. I had been in the car all stinkin day. It took a little under 9 hours for me to make the drive. LONG DAY.

Wednesday I got up early to fight the non-existent traffic up to northern Virginia to go to the doctor. I haven't been able to eat much since August because of how tight my lap-band has been since my last fill. It's been awful. I have also been battling ridiculous amounts of coughing and chest congestion. My doctor told me I most likely have pneumonia but that once he loosened my band, I'd start to feel better.

He was so right.

My coughing is just the remnants of an irritated throat, from 3 months of coughing, and I'm feeling better already.

I can eat again! Probably not the best thing, since I probably gained all my weight back in the last 2 days. Whatever.

Wednesday after my appointment I went to my older sister's house where my family would be gathering the next day for Thanksgiving. My younger sister came over too. That night my sisters and both their boo's and I hungout, played a game, and laughed a lot. It was quality sister bonding.

The next day, my parents, my aunts karen and sherry, uncles dave and bill, and cousins Kelly (and her hubby and 2 kids) and Billy.. along with Erin's boyfriend Chad's family all gathered for Thanksgiving. It was a great day.

I capped my day off with the Griffitts clan in Stafford. Oh man, those Noah hugs and kisses.. they kick my booty everytime. Chloe is walking now... It was such a sweet way to end the day and a great reminder of all I have to be thankful for!

And..

My heart might explode as I read the Sudan team's blogs over the next 2 weeks. Praise the Lord Mary and the rest of the Mount Ararat team made it safely after 2 1/2 days of traveling...

I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, but I sure wish I could have at least gone on the 2 weeks short term trip. :(

Dont cry at your desk, Molly

Dove Chocolate is LAME

Ok, can I just put this out there??

Of course I can, because it's my blog.

Dove chocolate. It tastes so good. I love it.

BUT.

When I am having a blah day, and need to consume large amounts of chocolate to self-medicate, the last thing I want to do is read some happy go lucky cheesy saying inside the wrapper of said medication of choice.

Can I get an amen?

"Believe in love at first sight, just in case."

Barf

"Shoe shopping therapy"

Seriously?

"Create a little controversy."

Ok, I'll get right on that one.

I mean, I'm not having a bad day at all. I'm self-medicating with chocolate because, well, its in my desk drawer and it was audibly calling my name. I couldn't ignore it. I just started thinking that if I'm having a good day and that mess is annoying, God help the piece of dove chocolate with the lame saying on the wrapper that I find on one of my bad days.

“There is no salvation by balancing the records. There is only salvation by canceling the records. The record of our bad deeds (including our defective good deeds), along with the just penalties that each deserves, must be blotted out- not balanced. This is what Christ suffered and died to accomplish. The cancellation happened when the record of our deeds was “nailed to the cross” (Colossians 2:13). How was the damning record nailed to the cross? Parchment was not nailed to the cross. Christ was. So Christ became my damning record of bad (and good) deeds. He endured my damnation. He is my only hope.” -John Piper

Mystery

"Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ.." Colossians 4:3-4

"Part of God's majesty is what about himself he keeps a mystery."

"Mystery is not the absence of meaning, but the presence of more meaning than we could ever comprehend."

"Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity. Sweet Jesus Christ my clarity.

Jesus, mystery

Christ has died and Christ is risen, Christ will come again"

That I may know You as You reveal yourself to me... may I be aware of the ways you are moving around me. May I love and cherish the things about You that remain still, a mystery. May the thought that I can learn more about You everyday, and as long as I live, there will always be more to know, be what spurs me on to seek You and respond as You pursue me. Would the things of this world, aspirations, relationships, fleeting moments of satisfaction, would those things pale in comparison to all that You are. I pray that I would stop choosing what is known or comfortable or what I think I want or need, and to stop allowing all that is unknown about You, all that remains mysterious, to keep me from chasing after You. What I do know about You, is already enough, and the fact that everyday, You desire for me to know more, is Your grace, immediately and eternally sufficient, yet continually and completely poured out upon me. Your mercies really are new every morning... and despite all my wanderings, all my failings, all the things I place before You, the fact that You love me really is the greatest mystery of them all.

"God eternal, here today, moving in unchanging ways. Far beyond the highest height, closer than can be defined, You're a mystery. Common human, clothed in splendor, unending strength, yet heart so tender, born to die to free this slave, the beauty of amazing grace.. is a mystery. I see You move in unseen ways, hear your voice in the quiet place. I feel Your peace steal my breath away, You're simply a mystery. So unlovely, still you love me. Needing You, yet You pursue me. Loving me since time began. Such love I'll never comprehend. To me, the greatest mystery, is You in love with me..."

Pursuing Joy

"In the pursuit of joy through suffering, we magnify the all-satisfying worth of the Source of our joy. God himself shines as the brightness at the end of our tunnel of pain. If we do not communicate that he is the goal and the ground of our joy in suffering, then the very meaning of our suffering will be lost.

The meaning is this: God is gain. God is gain. God is gain." John Piper

I saw this quote as I was reading through some of my posts from last year. If you know me well at all, you'll know that I really love John Piper, and this is one of my favorite quotes. I can hear him, especially that last part, "God is gain!" It made me think though...

I know that I'm supposed to pursue joy, even in the midst of suffering, but do I really? In the midst of my suffering am I really thinking about the "all-satisfying worth of the Source of our joy." Am I really looking for the ways that "God himself shines as the brightness at the end of our tunnel of pain." Do I really even care about the END of the tunnel of pain, when all I can think about is how dark and stupid the tunnel itself really is? What about those times that I can't even see glimmers of light at the end.. it's the stinkin' longest tunnel on the planet, and I'm losing hope... OR what's worse? When you're in the tunnel, as you near the end, you see the light ahead, but still curse the suffering... replacing hope for self absorption?

I'm not in a particularly dark tunnel these days. In fact, I'm actually quite happy, but I know myself, and I know that in difficult times, I'm more likely to hide under my covers rather than pursue joy. As I'm getting used to this whole go to work everyday, and sit at a desk, staring at the computer until your eyes bugout lifestyle, I'm realizing if I'm just going through the motions in the everyday, and not pursuing joy in the good times, how will I ever pursue it when things are really hard?

Everyday I want to grow in sanctification... I want to be more like Christ. More joy in my life is what I need, not for my sake, but for His glory.

Friendship!

5th grade... that was a long time ago. 18 years to be exact. When I look back on school, that was my favorite year, mostly because the books we got to read were the best. You can't beat "Where the Red Fern Grows!" It was also the year that I met my two best friends, Stacy and Mary. Stacy and I were friends all throughout middle school, and our friendship really blossomed when, well I had no one else, and she had compassion on me, despite how mean and dramatic I could be. Mary, moved away after 5th grade. Not that I minded. The one time Stacy and I tried to hangout with her, it wasn't really exciting. :)

BUT in 10th grade, Mary moved back and was placed in my world history class. I knew I wanted to be her friend when our teacher, Mrs. Charters asked her a question, and Mary, who was kind of quiet, promptly answered the question correctly, and then buried her nose back in her book. Upon closer inspection, I realized that Mary wasn't reading her history book at all, instead she was reading some fashion article in some teen magazine, that just happened to fit perfectly inside the cover of her textbook. Genius. I laughed, and knew immediately I wanted us to be friends.

Mary, Stacy, and I have been a trio since high school. Those girls have profoundly impacted my life, and I am so grateful that here we are, adults, a good distance removed from high school, and I still consider them my sisters.

Mary is leaving on Saturday to go back to Sudan for a year. Stacy, and Mary came to Chattanooga so we could spend some time together, and it was a wonderful weekend... very laid back, which was good since I have the plague. Saturday was especially fun, as we spent some time walking around downtown by the river, taking pictures and laughing. Before Stacy left on Saturday, the three of us sat on my bed, and prayed over Mary. It was a special time indeed, and I'm glad we had that opportunity.

Stacy left Saturday, and then Sunday Mary hungout with me at church all day, and then got to meet the guys and Rebecca, and hangout for awhile. It was a lot of fun, and it made me happy to look around the room to see a friend from home, friends from camp, and friends from my new life in Chattanooga, all hanging out and having fun. It was special for sure.

Praying for Mary and so excited for what the next year of her life is going to hold!

Philippians 4 and Gmail

Today, I had to sign out of my gmail account at work, and sign into it on the youth admin's computer so she could upload some email addresses into my contacts.. because my macbook is going a little crazy these days, this was the easiest solution.

So, I finished an email on my mac, sent it, and signed out, and hopped on to Stephanie's computer.

When Stephanie and I signed into my gmail on her computer, as soon as we got to my mail page, it wasn't my normal inbox, but there was an email draft opened, and in the body was part of Philippians 4. I have no idea what that would have been from, and I certainly can't remember when I would have been working on sending an email containing excerpts from Philippians 4. It was so random.

A message from God, perhaps?

I decided to go back to my desk after Stephanie and I had finished doing what we needed to do in adding my contacts, and check it out. I've been spending a lot of time the last 6 months or so in Philippians, so I was pretty aware of what it said, but I was encouraged and convicted by it again today, nonetheless.

4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

8-9 "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

In light of the reminder I received from the Holy Spirit yesterday, regarding how much I worry and stress, I feel like this was such a good place to turn. I can tell myself to "stop worrying" but that's so much easier said than done. Yesterday, I needed that stern talking to from God to just "stop" being a control freak in the moment. He knew the likelihood of me stopping in the midst of the busyness was slim, so in His grace, He got His message through loud in clear, in a moment as mundane as washing grapes... but today, He brought me back to the problem, and in refusing to allow me wallow in that sin, He pointed me to the "how" of continuing that sanctification process, and fighting that war against worry.

My heart was changed instantaneously the day I received Grace... and now, with the continual presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.... He wants more. He wants more than my heart, God wants my life. In my everyday, He wants me to seek Him, to see Him in the big and small things going on in my life. To worship Him in all things. To be present...

rejoice in the lord always.

the peace of God will guard your hearts.

the God of peace will be with you.

the Lord is near...

November 10th

AND... today, I'm grateful that the Lord placed me in a church with wonderful volunteers. That might be random, but I can't tell you how encouraging, and supportive these grown ups have been as I've transitioned in to a new role. They are some of the busiest most over-committed, yet still smiling people I've ever met. They're wonderful, and they love the students that I too am growing to love. Its a great partnership for the Gospel, and I am blessed by them regularly! They're awesome.

plain

and

simple.

Tooooonight.

Today was such a busy day, but it ended up being so good.

Tonight was the first Wednesday that I feel like I really took some ownership in the planning aspects of things. My heart has been so burdened on Wednesday nights as I watch so many of our students just going through the motions of worship, and so a few weeks ago, as my boss and I were talking with some of our volunteers we decided to do a night focused on worship.

Wouldn't you know.. I happen to sing occasionally with a stellar group of boys who I could call in a favor.

Not gonna lie.. I was really stressed about today.

Would all the elements come together?

Would I plan the mess out of this thing and hinder the Spirit from moving?

Would the band catch the vision of the night, having never seen our students before?

Would the students even respond?

I want to do my job well.

I woke up today, still stressed.. went to Walmart to buy things for communion and the time of confession.

Got to the student center and began putting lyrics into Media Shout, even though I have no idea how that mess works.

I barely acknowledged the boys as they pulled up with the trailer because I was stressed, tired, and super busy.

It wasn't until much later, as I was washing the grapes and breaking up the bread for communion. Yeah, we used grapes. Hello- teenagers + grape juice on carpet = a bad idea! Anyway, as I was getting the stuff for communion ready, my thoughts were abruptly interrupted. The body and blood of Christ... tonight wasn't about me and worship planning skills or how pretty I'd sound with the band, or our transitions.... everything I was doing was all in vain, if it wasn't for the glory of God.

Attitude check... fo sho.

Seth even called me out on how much I was worrying. I needed that reminder that I had invited people with specific callings on their lives to be a part of this, and they were worshipping God by using those gifts. Seth- I don't need to tell him how to do his job or worry that he's not going to what he's supposed to. He's an incredibly gifted worship leader, and has a calling on his life to lead other to the Cross in worship. My boss, Pat- I don't need to worry about whether or not he's going to be able to express the purpose of the elements of tonight's worship. He's been gifted and called by the Lord to pastor students. Yes, I'm a details and organizational kind of person (although you wouldn't know it if you saw my room!), because that's how God created me to be..

as the Body, we all have a purpose.

Today, I tried to do everyone's job, and when I knew I couldn't, I let worry overcome me.

LAME.

Anyway, students got there at 6. We set up the game and cafe outside, and didn't let students in the student center at all. They were intrigued.

After about 30 minutes outside.. we prayed together, and I instructed them to enter reverently, as they made their way to butcher paper on the wall. On the butcher paper they wrote what worship means to each of them. It was cool to go back and look at what they wrote.

The band intermingled their songs with different elements (scripture reading, confession, communion), and I'm hoping that the Spirit was really moving. It was the most responsive I've seen our group, and it blessed my heart to see them even slightly awakened to the presence of God moving around them. I'm praying big things for these kiddos.

And man oh man, I am one blessed Molly to have such wonderful friends who would do a favor like this for me. Those boys, I just love them so much. We did a podcast after the students left (www.rbbcrock.com, under "messages"), and one of the things I mentioned was how I love that at any given moment I can look around the stage when I'm singing with them, and see every one of them worshipping. Their hearts are in the right place, and I love the example of Christ they are for me.

Tonight was a good night, once I relinquished control and recognized the Holy Spirit could do so much more than any planning I might come up with... even if no one else felt God's presence, I know I heard from Him. I'm grateful that as I got all crazy, worship planning wild, the Lord reminded me that we're called to worship Him in all things.

MARY!

One of my best friends is preparing to leave for Sudan for a year and still needs to raise support for her monthly expenses. Please help!

https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/HarvestersReachingtheNation/OnlineGiving.html

Clicking on this link posted, will take you to Harvesters' website, which is the ministry Mary and I worked with a year ago, in Yei, Sudan. If you choose to donate toward her year in Sudan, make sure you designate those funds to Missionary- Mary Whitlow. Mary will be teaching preschool, helping with their sponsorship program, and helping with various other needs around the compound (orphanage and school). She's leaving a great job, family and friends who love her... all to act in obedience to a call the Lord placed on her life while she was there last November. She's worked tirelessly to get back there as soon as she could, and as she leaves to go love on orphans and minister to the full time missionaries at Harvesters, it would be wonderful for her to know that the Church back home is supporting her. Sudan is a dark place on the planet, desperately in need of the Gospel. Pray for Mary, and help make her trip possible!

Tuesdays = New Music

I am fully aware that my obsession of music is greater than both my bank account and available memory space on my laptop, but I love TUESDAYS. Tuesdays, for those of you who aren't music obsessed, is the day that record labels drop the new albums of their artists. It's a great Tuesday when you're anticipating the arrival of your favorite band's new CD, or when you're perusing Itunes and stumble upon an artist you had no idea was even releasing new music.

This morning, I'm stumbled upon a good one.

Gateway Worship's Live CD "God Be Praised"

Oh Holy Night. It's incredible!

As I was having some heart palpitations over the powerful lyrics I was hearing, my friend Seth Facebook chatted me with a video he told me had "messed him up" that morning... and it was one of the videos I was already watching from this new album.

Songs like, "Stay Amazed" (that chick can sing!), and "O the Blood" (Kari Jobe) are crazy awesome. You might be familiar with Kari Jobe, who is one of the Gateway worship leaders, but each one of the contributing musicians are incredibly talented.

Seriously, check it out on itunes, or youtube or something... but definitely check it out somewhere.

November 5 and 6

Well, yesterday, my parents and I had dinner with these guys:

And this lovely young lady:

Who is the fiance of this guy:

And I was thankful for them.

First of all, they made for a really fun dinner... but if we're talking bigger picture, these people are some of the best friends a Molly could ever ask for. I met these guys in 2009, when we worked Fuge together, and now they're some of my very best friends.

*1 of them is the kind of friend that challenges me to think, and to know why I believe what I do... mostly because he likes to argue, and I know if I don't have a response, he'll never let me hear the end of it. Plus he's bald and scary.. so I've gotta be on top of my game with him. I think he thinks it's "tough love." Whatever it's called, I love him for it.

*1 of them shows me how to love unconditionally, and without judgment. He is who he is, and makes no apologies for it. I so wish that I had that kind of courage, to know where I find my identity in, and to live fearlessly because of it.

*1 of them has so selflessly loved me, even when she didn't even know me that well. She has gone out of her way to make sure I've felt loved and cared for in this new transition, and has made me laugh so stinkin much. She's a wonderful friend, and I'm so glad she's a part of my life.

*1 of them, I have the kind of friendship that's just easy. He makes me laugh so stinkin much. We like a lot of the same things, so it's never lame to just hangout together. He's encouraged me so much, to help me gain more confidence in music, and he often plays and sings Shane and Shane for me, which makes me very happy... and he's been such a loyal friend since the beginning.

*and last but not least, 1 of them is the most genuine and loyal person I know. His love for others is so evident even after spending just a hot second with him. He's incredibly talented and hilarious, caring, trustworthy. He makes bad days a million times better. He sings pop music from the 90s with you at the top of his lungs, and he likes the color yellow, and Beauty and the Beast, and takes you to the hospital in the middle of the night when you find yourself in a place where you only know two girls who are either sleeping or have an out of town guest sleeping in their room. He's a rockstar.

They're good people... and so for November 5th, I was thankful for Drew, Steve, Seth, Alex and the wonderful Rebecca.

November 6th...

I am grateful for an extra hour of sleep. I am tired, and I have never loved Day Light Savings more. :)

Goodnight kids.

J. I. Packer "Knowing God"

"Today, vast stress is laid on the thought that God is personal, but this truth is so stated as to leave the impression that God is a person of the same sort as we are - weak, inadequate, ineffective, a little pathetic. But this is not the God of the Bible! Our personal life is a finite thing: it is limited in every direction, in space, in time, in knowledge, in power. But God is not so limited. He is eternal, infinite, and almighty. He has us in his hands; we never have him in ours. Like us, he is personal; but unlike us, he is great."

November 4

Today, I'm thankful for my parents, who are on their way down to Chattanooga as I write this. They told me they look like the Beverly Hillbillies with our truck loaded down with stuff I couldn't pack into my car when I moved down here... like my bed!

Yes, I'm thankful they're coming down here, but even more, I'm thankful for the ways that they love and support me. I haven't always been the most courageous, self-motivated human being on the planet. Fear, doubt, and worry are things I often struggle with. My parents, knowing this about me, have always pushed me to do my best and move forward, but have always let me know that anytime I need them, they'll be there. There are things in this world that I could do that I know would disappoint them, but nothing that would ever make them stop loving me. Even though they drive me crazy sometimes, they're who I call first when something exciting or something sad or something crazy has happened. My parents are pretty much amazing.

November!

It's November, which holds all kinds of exciting things for me.

1. My parents are coming (tomorrow!)

2. Mary and Stacy (my two bests) are coming next week. Bitter sweetly, its to say goodbye to Mary before she heads off to Sudan for a little over a year.

3. Seth and the boys are coming next week to lead worship for our Wednesday night service

4. Our fall retreat in Gatlinburg is coming up, and I'm so excited about getting some time to hangout with students.

5. Jenni, a favorite from camp is coming to Tennessee from California!

6. I get to go home for Thanksgiving!

7. My 28th birthday is happening on NOVEMBER 26th. Let me know if you need an address to send gifts. ;) Just kidding... but seriously.

I have lots to be thankful for these days. Im jumping on the thankful wagon, and doing what so many people are doing on Facebook. I'm going to try and share something everyday that I'm thankful for.

I missed a few days..

So, Nov 1st I was thankful for Kaylyn's subtle take charge personality. I was feeling so much better on Monday because she insisted I go to the hospital over the weekend. Kaylyn is one of those camp friends that it's so obvious the Lord placed us on the same team as a little special blessing just for me, except that one time she called me a bad word, but thats water under the bridge... she was sleep deprived. haha!

November 2nd..

I was grateful for rest. I had been going non-stop since last week and I was so tired! I got to go to bed at 8pm! Alex texted me and woke me up to tell me "Dood... my mom wants me to write more plays!" I found out this morning that he has no recollection of sending the text, and must have been dreaming. Texting while sleeping.. thats new.

November 3rd..

I'm thankful for my job and the wonderful adult volunteers we have that help us every week to minister to the students here at Red Bank! I'm excited to see everyone tonight!