So Gangster.

So this cute little picture is yet another thing taking over facebook these days. People post this picture and then tag the friends they feel best describes the character. My friend Ashleigh tagged me as, "the one who always gets hurt" because of all the bones I've broken, although in my defense, I haven't really broken anything in a long time (except for a little stress fracture my first summer of camp).

Its made me laugh to see how other people describe people that I know. There have been a few that I've wondered if my friend might be living a double life because the way their other friends describe them would not exactly have been how I would have tagged them.

I guess that's how it goes though. In my attempt to impress others or to avoid judgment, I only allow most people to see a certain side of me, or who I'm trying to be.... As I look at this silly picture, I can look at different relationships I have and know that different people would describe me in different ways, and some of those descriptions would most certainly contradict one another. I kind of think that's lame.

Oh to be a person that is authentic and doesn't care about the opinions of others, but instead simply living as who God created me to be... that would be awesome.

Until then... I'll just be "the gangster" since I know that's how most of you would describe me anyway.

Boring.

My blog is boring. I want it to reflect more of my personality.. but I don't know how because I don't know jack crap about that kind of stuff.................. someone should have compassion and help me.

I dont know about this...

Stacy wanted me to do this and since she's 1/12 of the people who actually read this blog, I thought I'd do it.. PLUS I really need to be doing work and I dont feel like, so this and American Idol are my distraction. Deal with it.

I love how people always preface these things with something about how "I never do these things but whatever!" We never do them because we don't want to seem like we want tons of attention, but dude I started a blog, because obviously I wanted a place to share my thoughts and who I am... soooo be excited about a random question thingy that helps in my blog's mission.

Some Things I’ve Done & Not Done in My Life

• Started your own blog - duh. Started this one about a year ago but posted random stuff on my myspace before that.
  
• Slept under the stars - Maybe? I've slept in a tent... but I honestly don't know if I've ever actually slept outside under the stars.
  
• Played in a band - I sang with a band occasionally for about a year in college.
  
• Watched a meteor shower - yes, one or two
  
• Been to Disneyland/world - yep, when I was in 4th grade after my dad got back from Saudi.
  
• Climbed a mountain - I mean, like mini ones that only take a couple hours to get to the top. Nothing crazy significant.
  
• Sang a solo - Yeah, I've sang a few times in church and in weddings.
  
• Taught yourself an art from scratch - uh, I dont think so.
  
• Held a praying mantis - Negative. I dont do bug.
  
• Had a pillow fight - Yes... but not in a long time. When grown folk do the pillow fight thing, it usually turns violent and painful.... all in the name of laughter. No thanks.
  
• Taking an overnight train - I don't think so.
  
• Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Yes, especially in school.
  
• Built a snow fort - My friends and I tried in high school.. it didnt go so hot. BUT when i was in elementary school we'd build snow houses out of the giant piles of snow the snow plows would make.
  
• Gone skinny dipping - I think I'll spare the world that one.
  
• Seen a total eclipse - Yes, a couple
  
• Watched a sunrise or sunset - Yes, lots of sunsets.... and a few sunrises.
  
• Seen Niagara Falls in Person - Nope
• Seen an Amish community - Nope
  
• Taught yourself a new language - yeah, no I have a life.
  
• Gone rock climbing - Negative
  
• Sung karaoke - haha yes, yes i have. Gangsta's Paradise and Shoop are my jams.
  
• Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - hmm i'm not sure.
  
• Walked on a beach by moonlight - yeah and it always creeps me out... we'd go to the beach late at night when i was in college (at CNU) and I'd always be afraid that crabs and other creatures were going to eat me.
  
• Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - I swam 12 years but there is no way in heck I'd ever go scuba diving. I went snorkeling when I went on a cruise and it scared me to death. I like the murky, muddy waters of the atlantic... I dont wanna see who I'm swimming with!
  
• Played in the mud - Not on purpose. I hate getting dirty.
  
• Gone to a drive-in theater - no i have not.
• Started a business - underachiever.. no.
  
• Served at a soup kitchen - Yes a couple times.
  
• Gotten flowers for no reason - Yes.. my friend Beth bought me flowers all the time when we were roommates in college.
  
• Donated blood, platelets or plasma - once in high school on my 18th birthday... and now I'm blacklisted for multiple reasons.
  
• Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - no.
  
• Saved a favorite childhood toy - I'm sure my mom has some. I definitely have tons of stuffed animals. I played outside mostly... so I dont know what toys left a lasting impression on me.
  
• Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Yes, a lot.
• Eaten Caviar - sick.
  
• Stood in Times Square - Yes... when i worked at my church as one of the youth interns, my boss and homie, Todd piled the 3 of us interns into the car for a "staff/planning meeting" and took us to NYC for the day. So much fun!
  
• Broken a bone - at least 20.
• Been on a speeding motorcycle - Only for like a mile...and i got in a lot of trouble by the daddy-o afterward.
  
• Had your picture in the newspaper - yeah when i was younger.
  
• Read the entire Bible - yes, thanks to seminary, but it took 2 years.
  
• Visited the White House - Only stood outside of it, right after I hungout with Lincoln.
  
• Killed and prepared my own meat -SICK.
• Had chickenpox - indeed
  
• Sat on a jury - no
• Met someone famous - Lots of Christian artists, OneRepublic, uh, I feel like I'm forgetting someone. I dont know.
  
• Joined a book club - Book It is about all the book clubbing i've done.
  
• Lost a loved one - Oh goodness yes.
  
• Owned a cell phone - duh.
• Been stung by a bee - I stepped on one at my grandma's house in Ohio and it hurt like crazy!
  
• Bungee jumped- No way
  
• Visited Paris- nope
• Watched a lightning storm at sea- I dont think so.
  
• Adopted a child- yeah like 20
  
• Had food poisoning - Yes and now I dont eat Subway very often (and probably anyone else who was at that sleepover to witness that grossness) or quesadillas.
  
• Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- no
• Seen the Mona Lisa in France- nooo
  
• Hitchhiked- No.
  
• Held a lamb- no.
• Been to a Broadway show in NY- Just one.. Little Shop of Horrors and it was hilarious. I did see Beauty and the Beast at the Kennedy Center but that's not in NYC.
  
• Ran a Marathon- no but I'd like to do a 1/2 marathon some time in the next 5 years.
  
• Been in three states at once - No
• Ridden in a gondola in Venice- No.. but I hate that word "gondola"
• Hit a home run- Uh, I did once on Wii.
• Been on a Cruise- once.
  
• Visited the birthplace of your Ancestors - sure.
  
• Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- no
  
• Seen Michelangelo’s David- No
• Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - No
  
• Visited Africa- No.
• Been transported in an ambulance- No
• Gone deep sea fishing- No
• Seen the Sistine Chapel in person- no
• Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- no
  
• Kissed in the rain- no.
  
• Been to Grace Kelley’s grave in Monaco- No.
• Visited the Great Wall of China- no
• Taken a martial arts class- no
• Swam in the Mediterranean Sea- no
  
• Visited Russia- no
• Sold Girl Scout cookies- no.
• Gone whale watching - no
• Gone sky diving- No
• Bounced a check- no.
• Pieced a quilt -no.
• Toured the Everglades- No
• Been fired from a job - No
• Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - no
• Seen the Grand Canyon in person - no
• Published a book- no.
• Visited the Vatican- No
• Bought a brand new car- no.
• Walked in Jerusalem- no, but that is at the very top of my list of places I'd like to go
  
• Saved someone’s life - Doubtful.
• Had a baby - like 20
  
• Seen the Alamo in person - no.
• Swam in the Great Salt Lake- no
• Been involved in a law suit- no

OH MY GOSH.. stacy, that was so long and no one is going to read all of that. Ridiculous.

Susan!

My friend Susan is a really fun person... AND she happens to be a pretty great photographer. I met her at camp my first summer working Fuge and now she lives in Nashville. She just launched a new site for all her photography stuff and I thought it was really cute.. so I wanted to share so all of you who don't know her could check out her stuff.

Check it out here ------->She's pretty great!

Lent

So, today is the first day of Lent. I've actually never fasted from anything during Lent because I always thought I'd turn it into some legalistic practice that didn't have any meaning whatsoever... so then I'd be depriving myself from something for no reason at all, and that would be lame.

But this year is different. My pastor, Todd has really been encouraging our church to participate in Lent by fasting from something and spending the next few weeks before Easter, really seeking God's will and I think that this season couldn't have come at a more perfect time in my life. If I've ever needed to stop and refocus on the cross and on my purpose on this earth, now would be it. It's not going to be easy, but I'm kind of looking forward to this fast. I hope this time that I'm committing to setting aside 2 specific distractions, will push me toward refocusing my life back on the things that matter, things that I'm passionate about, and mostly, that I'll be able to reconnect with God in a way that has been missing in my life since moving home in August... and not because life sucks when I'm separated from Him (although this is a true statement), but because I want to glorify Him with everything that I do. I want to love others like He loves. I want to live up to the potential He has placed in me and I want people to look at me and know that I serve a great God, and that we are loved in a way they never knew was possible.

I'm tired of living at home. Someone adopt me please.

Photo Tag?

My friend Carol tagged me in one of her pictures on her blog... which means that I'm supposed to post the 4th picture in the 4th folder of my pictures on my computer and then explain it. Right? I think? I dont know why the 4th is so significant.... but here goes..

This picture was taken from the top of a mountain near Glorieta Conference Center in New Mexico where I worked camp last summer. I definitely didn't climb that mess, but after seeing this picture from someone who made the hike, I kind of wish I had been more hardcore. Unfortunately when the options for your only day off are climb a big giant mountain or do laundry and sleep... sleep typically wins.

Ok... so now I will tag... Leslie and MeLissa :) 4th picture in the 4th folder. Ready go!

Sushi Goodness

So when I lived in Dallas, my good friend Jamie came to see me and introduced me to sushi for the first time. Since then, I've slowly and cautiously continued to try different sushi plates, and haven't yet found one that I don't like.

Well tonight I went with my friend Stacy over to our friend Bryan's house and I learned how to make sushi myself. I think the final products ended up tasting really good! Stacy unfortunately had to leave for a little bit while we made everything and I was a little afraid of being left for two hours with these boys because they're pretty hardcore in the kitchen, but they ended up being 2 very patient and encouraging teachers. Tonight was a lot of fun and filled with a lot of laughter.

Here's Dru teaching me how to make the first kind.
I have no idea what it's called, but the rice was crazy sticky and the green stuff was super spicy.

Then I was left to try it on my own...

And here's the finished product... yum!
I tried not to think about the raw meat part of the evening.

Then we moved on to the seaweed wrapped goodness.

Dru and his mini wrap

My turn! I'm not trying to brag or anything,
but I was a lot better than my teachers.



Bryan was our cutting board rockstar

The finished product of my first wrap.

Our creations... the jacked up ones are the boys.


All of our finished products
Yay for Stacy coming back just in time!

Question 5

When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up?

1st I wanted to be a taxi driver and smoke cigars... as a two or three year old, I had big dreams.

I also remember wanting to be a "baby doctor" but my older sister told me that I'd have to change diapers all day everyday... and those hopes and dreams were smashed.

THEN I thought I wanted to be an ambulance driver until again, my sister and all her positivity told me that when people got into car accidents and their arms got chopped off, I'd have to be the one to go and retrieve the arm. Yeah, thanks but no thanks.

Now here I am 26 years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I thought I did... maybe I still do, it's just taking a different path than I expected.

What about you??

Biography..

So, I have to write a short "About the Author" section that will be published with my curriculum and I have no idea what to write. Some people write random facts about themselves, and their bios are really fun.... I guess I want mine to be a mixture.

I know I'll say something about my seminary degree and being from virginia, but that's like 2 sentences.

lame.

Writing a bio and not having anything to say, is making me feel like a failure at life.
thumbs down.

Everything Rides on Hope Now

So, this week I'm up in Northern Virginia house sitting for someone that works with my younger sister. I'm hanging out with 2 dogs and a cat and it's oh so exciting. I'm trying to be hardcore and not scared about staying in a strange house.... but if you saw how cute these dogs were, you would know that if someone was trying to kill me, they'd only try and lick them to death. :)

I'm hoping that this week will give me a lot of time to work on my curriculum stuff... and I'll hopefully have it all completed by this time next week. I got some help from 2 of my favorite people last week, and their input and encouragement definitely helped give me a little push and motivation to get this stuff done sooner rather than later. It's just been really challenging to write, not knowing if what I'm saying is any good.. PLUS writing about the battle for the mind has been pretty convicting. How do you write Sunday school material on something that you struggle with constantly!?

While I'm up here, I'm also taking advantage of the fact that I'm so close to some of my friends that I don't get to see very often. It's not that Stafford is impossibly far away from here, but the traffic and stuff are just such a pain in the butt! Sooooo tonight I'm hanging out with my friend Jessie, and then meeting up with one of my best friends Mary. I'm excited to see both of them, because its been awhile! THEN.. tomorrow I'm hanging out with my sisters and maybe their boyfriends. Hmm maybe I should bring my boyfriend along too... oh wait, yeah I don't have one. Whatever (as I brush my shoulders off)! THEN Friday, Leigh Anne (my homie from CNU) and I are gonna try to meet up. It's going to be a fun week for sure!


This past weekend was great. We had our D-Now weekend for the youth at our church. Addison Road came and led worship. I worked with them last summer for 2 weeks out at Glorieta and they're awesome. Not only are they all incredibly talented, but they're just good people... humble, and a lot of fun! If you dont know them, I think you should hop on over to Itunes and check them out.

We also talked about the book of Job and what happens when everything is "Stripped Away." It was intense.... Job is not a fun book, but oh man there's so much good stuff to be learned from his story! Perhaps I'll write a blog about that later.

Hope everyone is having a good start to their week.

QUESTION.. 4

What's your favorite band or musician?

Now, I stinkin love music. I love to listen to songs on repeat. I love to go to concerts and shows. I especially love live CDs (as long as they're done quality). Music can make a bad day better. Music can me laugh, cry, smile, remember.

I have 4 favorite bands/musicians and it's nearly impossible to pick an absolute favorite...well that's a lie but whatever.

1. Dashboard Confessional... but mostly just their old school, really emo, acoustic stuff. Chris Carrabba is the hotness.

2. Ill Angelic. This is a band that some of my friends are in. You should check them out on myspace. I like their music, but even more, I think my favorite part about going to their shows is seeing my friends passionate about something, and seeing them do what they love. They are awesome and they're all really super talented. Check 'em out.

3. The Spill Canvas. Ok, if you really want to make me crazy, put some of that mess on. Their songs make me want to find somone and makeout with them. I love how Nick (the lead singer and writer of most of their songs) is so honest about his relationship struggles and so passionate when he sings. It's hot. Plus their CDs are so much fun to listen to at top volume when driving around in my car. There's a song for everything... if I'm mad at someone, in love with someone, annoyed with a situation... I just love them.

4. AND OF COURSE... the QUEEN of my music loves.... LISA LOEB! Maybe you don't remember her?? She wrote that song in the 90's "Stay".. "You say, I only hear what I want to. And you say, I talk so all the time.. so" And she wrote a bunch of other really awesome songs too. I have loved Lisa Loeb since middle school. She's so cute with her glasses and guitar. My favorite CD is "The Purple Tape" which is 2 discs. The first disc is all this old school music she wrote back in the day... and then the 2nd disc is her explaining the rationale for the lyrics. It's cool to hear a song you love, but then to hear the writer explaining how that song came about. I got to stand in the pouring rain at the Texas State Fair one year when I lived in Dallas to see Lisa and then got backstage passes and got to meet her. It was awesome. I almost cried... but didnt.


so that's me. What about you?? Who do you love the most, musically AND why!?

Love IS the Movement

So, Valentine's Day is coming up this weekend. It's not typically a day I think about much... well except when I was in college and all three of my housemates were engaged OR in grad school when all three of my roommates were either engaged or in a serious relationship (engagements are a gift that I give my roommates. Live with me, and you'll be engaged by the end of our lease), on those Valentine's Days, I wanted to stab myself in the eye. But anyway, for the last few years, around this time I've gotten invited to a Facebook event for an organization that I think is pretty amazing.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit organization that seeks to provide help for those struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, self injury issues and addiction. If you don't know about this organization I think you should hop on over to their website, click on where it says "Vision" and check that mess out.. especially "The Story." It's an awesome organization that's doing so much to bring awareness to this growing trend among teenagers. They use music and awesome bands, and try to stay culturally relevant, which I think gives students a feeling that this is a "place" they can go and find help, community, and understanding. The invitation I received (which isnt necessarily sent out by TWLOHA, but instead a day set aside by students who are passionate about it) on Facebook asks all of us on February 13th, who support the vision of the TWLOHA team, to do just that, write "Love" on our arms and to spread a message of hope, because unfortunately February is a month that sees an increased number of suicides and attempts.

Each summer I am so blessed to minister to students from all across the United States while I'm working Fuge. As a Bible study leader, students tend to feel more safe and open to talk to me about their struggles, I think because they know they're not going to see me after our week of camp is up... and I think because the Lord sometimes uses camp as a way to remove students from their everyday lives, allow them time to think and process their problems, and then come to a place where they realize they need help. I've talked and prayed with so many students who have struggled with the issues that TWLOHA addresses. You would not believe the number of teens I've spoken with who struggle regularly with cutting and depression, and it breaks my heart everytime another student opens up to me about their problem or courageously shows me the cuts on their wrists and arms... BUT it also gives me an overwhelming feeling of peace and hope to see them finally asking for help. It's one of the most rewarding parts of my job to see a student finally find the courage to step out of the all consuming darkness of an addiction, and into the light and hope of recovery.

The trend of cutting has exploded among our teenagers at an alarming rate. It doesn't discriminate between race or sex or economic status. Most times students who cut are not trying to kill themselves but instead, the sight of blood or the sting of pain reminds them that even though they feel dead inside, they are in fact still alive. A lot of students try cutting at least once, and the number of students who become addicted to this is growing more and more rapidly everyday.

Here are some statistics that I found on their website..

*21 million people worldwide suffer from depression
*In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
*Overall, suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death for all US Americans, but is the third leading cause of death for young people 15-24 years.
*Studies, of which there are few on the subject, suggest that some 2 to 3 million Americans are self-injurers (which can include, eating disorders, cutting, burning, hair pulling, self-hitting, etc)

I'm passionate about this organization and about doing my part to help end these trends, because I've seen addiction try to destroy the lives of some of the most wonderful people, I've seen the pain that suicide leaves in its aftermath, and I've experienced the heavy weight of depression in my own life. I hope you'll check out their website, get informed and even if you're not directly involved in student ministry, you can be praying for students who are struggling, praying for student ministers and organizations like this one who are trying to find a solution and spread a message of hope... and maybe if you think about it, you can write love on your arm this Valentine's weekend as a reminder to be praying for those who are feeling lost or alone.


"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."

"Rescue Is Possible"

Grammy Wammy.

Sitting in Panera.
I really need to realize that updating my blog does not constitute "getting work done" simply because it takes place behind my laptop.

I watched the Grammys last night. I love music and I love pop culture, and of course my opinions and observations are never wrong so enjoy...

*First, we have to bring up the obvious.
MIA performing with all the guys... 9+ months pregnant. Like, the chick is past her due date. What?! And she was wearing a see through shirt. I was worried about more than her baby popping out on stage. It was out of control. The ONLY thing that made sense about that performance was her shoe choice. The chick was definitely rockin tennis shoes, which in light of the rest of her choices that night, I expected high heels.
Ridiculous.

*I do not like Coldplay. I have tried and I simply cannot force myself to listen to that junk.
It's boring.
All the songs sound the same.

*Chris Brown wasnt at the Grammys because he was busy beating up his girlfriend. That's sad.

*Katy Perry's set of fruit was kind of lame.

*Stevie Wonder, you are way too cool to be performing with the Jonas Brothers. Seriously, whoever told you to do that mess, should be punched in the face and then fired.

*Adele where the heck have you been all my life. I liked your black dress and your album is the hotness.

*Nicole Kidman... step away from the botox.

*Radiohead was awesome.

*Jennifer Hudson looked pretty and I cried when she cried. I'm so wimpy.

*Justin Timberlake, I am totally down for getting married if you ask, I'm just sayin.


Did you guys watch? Or do you just not care about the kind of music typically showcased on the show? Seriously, it was worth it, just to see MIA.

high school

My friend Beth posted these pictures from high school on facebook and I thought they were hilarious and so I wanted to post them on here for all to see.

This was junior prom. Our dates were probably off to the side staring at the hotness before them. The two chicks on either side of me and the lovely lady in pink were my 3 best friends and are still 3 of my best friends. We were "JacksChix." haha what a fun night.

When I was in high school, I wanted to milk a cow. It was my life's dream. So my friend Beth planned my 17th surprise party at a farm. It was so much fun! I love that I can look at this picture and say that I'm still in touch with most of these friends.

This was my graduating class at church. We loved to laugh and we loved each other a lot. It's crazy to think about what we went through and where we all are now.

haha hilarious.

I kept a journal while I was in high school and I went back and re-read some of my entries a couple nights ago... oh my goodness, it's so funny. I look at it and see so many places where I wasn't being completely honest with myself... even in my own journal, I didn't feel like I could be honest. Weird. What was the point of writing in it? I dont know. I was strange.

Here are some things I learned from going back and reading my journal:
1. I used "OMG" before it was cool.
2. I spent way too much time talking to a boy that was way too old to be talking to 16 year old Molly.
3. I started stressing out about prom when I was a freshman... okay, not really, but sheesh that was a big deal.
4. Being involved in the drama program was a bigger creative outlet than I realize looking back.
5. By the time I was a senior, I stinkin hated swimming and hated waking up at 5am for practice. I slept my way through the winter sports season, planning my day based on what classes I could catch a nap in.
6. The only reason I passed math was because I made my younger sister do my homework for me.
7. I was incredibly insecure... and it would appear that I still struggle with a lot of the same insecurities today.
8. I was an incredibly angry person.
9. I apparently snuck into the Blair Witch project (because I wasnt 17 yet) and thought it was the dumbest movie of all time.
10. I wanted this one thing to happen so badly that my entire world (at least according to my journal) revolved around it... it never happened, and so far, i've survived.
11. Mary, Kacie, and Stacy were the source of endless amounts of laughter. Even though I was an angry jerk, my journal proves that I loved them very much.
12. The DC Talk Supernatural Tour seems to have been quite an exciting night for me.
13. I got called the B word in a packed movie theater because I didn't save a seat for this guy that I didn't like.... my bad.

Haha. Even though its slightly embarrassing to read that stuff now, I'm so glad that I have that journal. It's hilarious and it reminds me, as I'm involved in student ministry, that yes, I really was just like them when I was in high school. :-)

I think more people should post old school photos so I can laugh. Too bad that was the age before digital cameras!