My Hero.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

“Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.”

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.”

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.”

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”

-Mother Teresa

Oh man, that woman is one of my heros. Talk about living life to the fullest! She was an amazing woman with a huge heart for people. I’ve read stories about her and the love she showed to the poor in Calcutta, and how, at her “Home for the Dying,” she cared for some of the India’s most neglected and unloved. It wasn’t her goal to heal these people or find a cure for their diseases, but instead to provide a place where these people, beloved by God but forgotten by the world, could die with dignity. She knew that without the Home for the Dying… these people would die in city alleys and ditches and no one would even notice they were gone.

Can you imagine that, to die, and no one even notice or care that you’re gone?

I know that some of you actually can imagine that… actually know what that must feel like, but there is Hope. You are loved.

Mother Teresa and the people that came from all over the world to volunteer for the ministries she founded, would go out, everyday into the streets of Calcutta in search of the very people that no one else really paid much attention to. When she would come across one of the many sick and dying homeless people in her city, she’d load them up in the car or van they were using that day, kneel down and whisper in their ear as she grasped their hand, that they were loved by God and didn’t have to worry anymore. Then she’d take them to a place free of condemnation or judgment, but instead filled with love and grace, and allow them to feel peace possibly for the first time in their lives.

She was just incredible!

I’m obsessed with the news. CNN and Fox News are two of my most frequently viewed websites. I used to upset my roommate and good friend Ashley when I’d read her the most surprising news article for that day. I mean, let’s face it, I think we all wish there were just some things we could ignore, because there are just some really horrific, tragic things that are happening in the world today.

It’s hard to make sense of some things that happen. I often find myself wondering if this world has any hope? Is there anything that anyone can do while we wait for the triumphant return of Christ? I think that’s why I love and respect Momma T so much. She came from such humble beginnings. A nun, who left the comforts of her convent, so that she could live among the poor. She didn’t have much, but she courageously moved forward to be Love to the unloved… it started with one person, one courageous step of faith, who by the end of her life had touched thousands.

So, I wonder what is my role in all this? Could I ever make such an impact, not for my own glory but for His? Do I bring more pain than I do joy into an already suffering and broken world? As I look at so many people that I respect and admire, people that have done or did great things with their lives, I am overwhelmed by the task that is before me. There’s just no way that I could get over myself enough, or let go of the comforts in my life and purposefully, intentionally embrace something or someone completely out of my comfort zone, what is familiar to me.
So instead I sit. I sit surrounded by so many blessings and luxuries that countless others only dream of having. So much has been handed to me… all the while, there is world that is crying out in need and despair. So many are hurting, and I choose to drown them out with my books and music. It’s shameful.

“If you cant feed a hundred, then just feed one.”

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean
would be less because of that missing drop.”

I have to start somewhere… and I think Jesus told us that it begins with our neighbor. I’m determined to make the most of my last few weeks here in Dallas. There are definitely some changes that need to be made, and this time I hope I don’t get discouraged by the enormity of this task, but instead begin one small step at a time. We must bring hope to a world that feels hopeless.

Another One Bites the Dust.

Today I went to a bridal shower for a friend that I’ve known since elementary school, and let me tell you, it was sort of weird. She’s not the first one of my childhood friends to “take the plunge” but she is one of my closer friends, which made it a little strange, but I’m also just really happy for her. I’m thankful that we both came to the same seminary, had the opportunity to live together for awhile, and grow even closer over the last 2 ½ years. So many great memories.

The shower was a little bit bitter sweet, because as I sat, surrounded by a group of girls that have become my closest friends, I realized my time here in Dallas is rapidly coming to an end. In just 5 weeks I’ll be packing up my car and getting the heck out of Texas. I looked around the room today and my heart got a little heavy at the thought of saying goodbye to these incredible friends, most of whom don’t even realize how much they’ve impacted my life. I truly believe that the Lord placed them in my life at a time when I needed them most. I came to Dallas completely broken and feeling lost and insecure… and through their encouraging words, their laughter, and love, I feel like I’m leaving Dallas a different person… healed perhaps?

I’m pretty sure I’m going to boohoo all the way to the Mississippi river. Perhaps the trees, the green, and the mountains of Tennessee will cheer me up… because we are definitely lacking in that stuff here in Dallas.

I’ve learned so much about myself, about love, life, and about God in the last 2 ½ years. I don’t think I really knew why the Lord brought me here and what He had in store as I was packing up my Honda and hugging my parents goodbye in Jan. 2006. I know I was terrified about leaving home, but in retrospect I see it was the best thing for me. I’m not sure if the changes that have been made in my life and my heart could have been done in Virginia. I needed to get away.

Now as I prepare for graduation, and to move back home, I’m just so excited about what the next chapter is going to look like. It’s funny, I practically ran from that place… and now I feel like that’s where I need to return, at least for a little while. Just wish I knew what I was going to be doing there…

Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.

There’s a lot going on right now. Hope I can keep my head above water and get everything done.